Still Having Flashbacks from Your Birth? Why Birth Trauma Doesn't Just Fade
⏱️ Quick Read (3 minutes)
If you're still experiencing flashbacks from your birth, you might be:
Re-living the terror of thinking you or your baby wouldn't survive - sometimes multiple times a day
Jolted back to the delivery room by random triggers: a hospital on TV, someone else's birth story, your baby's cry
Avoiding anything pregnancy-related - you can't watch birth scenes, can't be around pregnant friends, can't even think about having another baby
Wondering why everyone expects you to "just move on" when you can barely sleep through the night without nightmares
Feeling broken or weak because it's been months (or years) and you're still not "over it"
Terrified of being pregnant again because the flashbacks have gotten even worse
You're not stuck in the past. You're not being dramatic. Your brain is trying to process something overwhelming - and it needs specific help to do it.
This article gives you:
✅ Validation that persistent flashbacks are a real medical condition (PTSD), not a personal failing
✅ Understanding of why flashbacks don't just fade and what's actually happening in your brain
✅ The truth about when flashbacks are "normal" vs. when you need professional help
✅ Evidence-based treatment options (Trauma-Focused CBT & EMDR) that actually work
✅ Answers to your biggest questions: "Will I ever feel normal again?" "Can therapy while pregnant help?" "What if I can't afford it?"
✅ A clear path forward - including how to access free NHS support or specialist private therapy
Not ready to read the full article? Jump to what you need:
"I thought time would heal this..."
You're holding your baby, watching them sleep peacefully, and suddenly you're back in that delivery room. Your heart races. You can feel the pain again. Hear the voices. See the frightened look on your partner's face. The smell of the hospital comes flooding back.
For many mums in the UK, this is the reality of living with birth trauma flashbacks. Perhaps it happened during an emergency C-section. Maybe it was the haemorrhaging that terrified you, the feeling of everything spiraling out of control, or waking up from general anaesthesia not knowing if your baby was okay.
And here's what makes it even harder: everyone around you seems to think you should just "be grateful you both survived" or "move on because the baby is healthy now." But your brain hasn't moved on - and there's a crucial reason why.
Why Birth Trauma Flashbacks Don't Just Fade Away
The Natural Processing Period
First, it's important to understand that flashbacks, nightmares, and hypervigilance in the first weeks after a traumatic event are completely normal and expected. Your brain has just experienced something overwhelming—whether it was the fear that you or your baby might die, excruciating pain, loss of control, or medical complications that required urgent intervention.
According to NICE guidelines for PTSD (NG116), healthcare professionals recommend a period of "watchful waiting" for mild symptoms present for less than 4 weeks after a traumatic event, with follow-up arranged within 1 month. During this time, symptoms like flashbacks, disturbing dreams, and heightened anxiety are your brain's natural attempt to process what happened. For many women, these symptoms do settle within the first few weeks as the brain successfully makes sense of the experience.
When Your Brain Gets Stuck
But what happens when flashbacks continue beyond those first few months? What if you're now six months postpartum - or two years, or pregnant again - and you're still experiencing intrusive memories?
This is where birth trauma becomes Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Research shows that approximately 4-6% of birthing people in the UK develop full PTSD following childbirth, with an additional 17% experiencing significant post-traumatic stress symptoms. That's potentially thousands of women every year living with unprocessed trauma.
When flashbacks persist beyond those initial weeks, it signals that your brain was unable to complete its natural healing process. The traumatic memory remains "stuck" in an unprocessed state, stored differently than your other memories. This isn't your fault—it's a result of how overwhelming and threatening the experience was at the time.
Why Flashbacks Return During Pregnancy
Many of my clients first seek therapy when they become pregnant again. Suddenly, flashbacks they thought had faded come roaring back with intensity. Triggers multiply:
Attending antenatal appointments
Discussing birth preferences
Approaching the due date
Feeling those first contractions
Your brain is trying to protect you by remembering what happened last time. Unfortunately, this protective mechanism can leave you feeling terrified, avoidant, and trapped between wanting another child and fearing another traumatic birth.
What's Actually Happening in Your Brain?
Understanding the neuroscience behind birth trauma flashbacks can be genuinely empowering. You're not "weak" or "dramatic"—your brain is doing exactly what brains do when faced with overwhelming threat.
Trauma Memories Are Stored Differently
Groundbreaking research from Mount Sinai and Yale University (published in Nature Neuroscience, 2023) revealed something remarkable: traumatic memories are not processed or stored in the brain like regular memories—even very sad ones.
When researchers studied people with PTSD and examined how their brains responded to traumatic versus sad memories, they discovered that:
The hippocampus (the brain's memory-filing system) doesn't activate properly when recalling traumatic memories
Traumatic memories lack coherent narrative structure — they exist as fragments: sensations, sounds, smells, emotions
These memory fragments intrude into the present moment rather than being experienced as "something that happened in the past"
This explains why flashbacks feel so different from regular memories. When you remember your wedding day or your first holiday, your brain knows it's a memory from the past. But when a birth trauma flashback hits, your brain and body react as if the traumatic event is happening RIGHT NOW. The threat feels current. The fear feels immediate.
The Amygdala: Your Brain's Smoke Alarm
The amygdala is a small, almond-shaped structure deep in your brain that acts as your threat detection system—your internal smoke alarm. During childbirth, if you experienced genuine fear for your life or your baby's life (or severe pain, loss of control, or medical emergencies), your amygdala went into overdrive.
In PTSD, the amygdala becomes overactive and hypersensitive. It continues firing off "danger signals" even when you're safe at home months or years later. This is why seemingly small triggers can set off massive reactions:
Seeing a hospital on television
Hearing about someone else's birth
Approaching your baby's birthday
Physical sensations that remind you of labour
Your amygdala doesn't distinguish between actual threat and reminders of past threat—it simply sounds the alarm.
The Prefrontal Cortex: When Your "Thinking Brain" Goes Offline
The prefrontal cortex is your brain's rational, thinking, planning centre. It helps you make sense of experiences, put things in perspective, and regulate emotions. During extreme stress or trauma, blood flow and activity in the prefrontal cortex decreases—your thinking brain essentially goes "offline" while your survival brain takes over.
Research shows that in people with PTSD, this reduced prefrontal cortex activity persists. This means:
You may have difficulty creating a coherent narrative of what happened
You struggle to regulate the intense emotions when flashbacks occur
You can't simply "think your way out" of the fear response
This is why well-meaning advice like "just think positive thoughts" or "try not to dwell on it" doesn't work. Your brain needs specific, trauma-focused support to reconnect these systems.
When Should You Seek Help for Birth Trauma Flashbacks?
You don't have to wait until symptoms are "bad enough." You deserve support whenever flashbacks are affecting your quality of life, your relationships, or your ability to feel joy in motherhood.
Signs It's Time to Reach Out
Consider seeking professional support if you're experiencing:
Re-experiencing symptoms:
Flashbacks that feel as vivid and distressing as the original event
Nightmares about the birth
Intrusive thoughts or images that pop up without warning
Physical reactions (racing heart, sweating, trembling) when reminded of the birth
Avoidance:
Avoiding hospitals, medical settings, or specific healthcare providers
Steering clear of pregnant women or people with newborns
Refusing to discuss the birth or becoming distressed when it comes up
Avoiding intimacy or physical examinations
Hyperarousal:
Feeling constantly on edge or easily startled
Difficulty sleeping or concentrating
Irritability or anger outbursts
Hypervigilance (always scanning for danger)
Impact on bonding:
Difficulty connecting emotionally with your baby
Feeling detached or numb
Guilt about not feeling the "joy" you expected
Resentment toward your baby (even if you love them deeply)
Affecting future plans:
Intense fear of pregnancy or childbirth (tokophobia)
Delaying or avoiding having more children due to fear
Severe anxiety during a subsequent pregnancy
The One-Month Rule (and Why It Matters)
NICE guidelines recommend watchful waiting for approximately one month following a traumatic event because many symptoms naturally resolve as your brain processes the experience. However, if symptoms persist beyond 4-6 weeks or are severely affecting your daily functioning, seeking help sooner is completely appropriate.
You don't need to suffer in silence for a set period of time. If you're struggling now - even if it's only been two weeks - we can start our work together at any time. You can also contact your GP, health visitor, or a specialist perinatal mental health service.
What Treatment Actually Works for Birth Trauma Flashbacks?
Here's the empowering truth: Birth trauma flashbacks can be successfully treated. You don't have to live with these symptoms forever. Evidence-based therapy can help your brain finally process the traumatic memory, reducing and often eliminating flashbacks.
Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (TF-CBT)
Trauma-focused CBT, particularly the model developed by Ehlers and Clark, is the gold-standard treatment recommended by NICE for PTSD. As an accredited CBT therapist specialising in perinatal trauma, I use this approach because it works.
What happens in TF-CBT:
Memory Processing: We work together to help your brain properly "file" the traumatic memory. This involves revisiting the memory in a structured, safe way that allows your hippocampus to create a coherent narrative. Once processed, the memory moves from feeling like "it's happening now" to "it happened then."
Identifying Triggers: We map out what triggers your flashbacks and understand the connections your brain has made. Often, triggers are subtle—a smell, a sensation, a time of day—and becoming aware of them reduces their power.
Updating Threat Meanings: Trauma often leaves us with persistent beliefs about ongoing danger or personal failure. We work to update these unhelpful meanings. For example, shifting from "I'm broken because I needed a C-section" to "I survived a medical emergency that saved my baby's life."
Reclaiming Your Life: As flashbacks reduce, we focus on re-engaging with activities and plans you've been avoiding. This might include planning for future pregnancies, returning to work, or simply enjoying motherhood without constant fear.
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)
EMDR is another highly effective, NICE-recommended treatment for PTSD. I'm currently completing my EMDR training (finishing May 2026) because I've witnessed firsthand how powerful it can be for processing birth trauma.
How EMDR works:
EMDR uses bilateral stimulation (typically eye movements, but sometimes tapping or audio tones) while you recall the traumatic memory. This stimulation creates a "dual attention" state—part of your brain is focused on the memory while another part stays grounded in the present, safe moment.
This process appears to "unstick" frozen trauma memories and allows your brain to reprocess them naturally. Many clients report that EMDR feels faster than traditional talking therapy—the memory becomes less vivid, less emotionally charged, and integrated as "something that happened" rather than "something that's still happening."
What makes EMDR particularly suited to birth trauma:
Birth trauma often involves overwhelming sensory experiences - pain, sounds, smells, physical sensations. EMDR is excellent at processing these sensory fragments that don't easily translate into words. You don't need to narrate every detail; the bilateral stimulation helps your brain process on a deeper, more instinctive level.
What Both Approaches Achieve
Whether using TF-CBT, EMDR, or a combination, successful trauma therapy helps you:
Reduce or eliminate flashbacks: The intrusive memories become less frequent, less intense, and eventually may stop altogether
Process the memory fully: Your brain can finally "close the file" on the traumatic event
Develop new perspectives: You may gain insight, self-compassion, and even a sense of strength from surviving
Reconnect with joy: As symptoms reduce, you can be more present with your baby and family
Plan confidently for the future: If you want more children, we can create a personalised birth preferences plan that addresses your specific fears and needs
Beyond Trauma Processing: A Holistic Approach
My approach goes beyond just processing the traumatic memory. We also work on:
Self-compassion: Many mums blame themselves for what happened during birth. We work on developing kindness toward yourself and your experience
Building emotional regulation skills: Learning practical techniques to manage anxiety, panic, and overwhelming emotions
Preparing for future births (if desired): Creating a detailed, personalised birth preferences plan that addresses your specific concerns and gives you a sense of control
Strengthening support systems: Helping you communicate your needs to partners, family, and healthcare providers
Frequently Asked Questions About Birth Trauma Flashbacks
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There's no set timeline - it varies for each person. According to NICE guidelines, some symptoms are normal in the first 4 weeks after trauma. However, if flashbacks persist beyond 4-6 weeks or significantly impact your daily life, they're unlikely to resolve on their own without treatment.
With evidence-based therapy like Trauma-Focused CBT or EMDR, many women experience significant reduction in flashbacks within 8-12 sessions. Some notice improvement even sooner. The key is: flashbacks can get better with proper treatment - you don't have to live with them indefinitely.
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Yes, absolutely. Recovery is not only possible - it's likely with the right support. Research shows that over 80% of women with childbirth-related PTSD follow a recovery trajectory, particularly with trauma-focused therapy.
"Normal" might look a bit different than before—you've been through something profound. But you can absolutely reach a place where:
Flashbacks stop or become very rare
You can think about the birth without intense distress
You feel present and connected with your baby and family
You can consider future pregnancies without overwhelming fear
You enjoy motherhood without constant anxiety
Recovery doesn't mean forgetting what happened. It means processing the memory so it no longer controls your present.
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Yes, this is surprisingly common. Many women don't experience severe flashbacks immediately after birth, or symptoms seem to fade, only to return when:
They become pregnant again
Their child's birthday approaches
They encounter triggers (hospitals, medical settings, birth stories)
There's another stressful life event
This is called "delayed onset PTSD" or symptom reactivation. The good news? Even if flashbacks emerge years later, trauma therapy remains highly effective. It's never too late to process birth trauma.
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Yes, this is one of the most common times for birth trauma flashbacks to intensify. Your brain is trying to "protect" you by remembering what happened last time. Triggers increase during pregnancy:
Antenatal appointments
Discussing birth plans
Physical sensations that remind you of labour
Approaching your due date
This is precisely why working with a perinatal trauma specialist before or during your next pregnancy can be so valuable. We can:
Process the traumatic memory from your previous birth
Create a personalised, trauma-informed birth preferences plan
Develop coping strategies for managing anxiety during pregnancy
Work with your midwife/consultant to address your specific concerns
Many of my clients find that processing their first birth trauma actually allows them to approach their second birth with confidence rather than fear.
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This is a really important question because the two are often confused, but they require different treatments. Here's how they typically differ:
Birth Trauma PTSD:
Flashbacks and intrusive memories of the birth
Avoidance of anything that reminds you of the birth (hospitals, pregnant women, birth stories)
Hyperarousal: feeling constantly on edge, easily startled
Trauma-related thoughts like "I'm going to die" or "Something terrible will happen"
Often triggered by specific reminders of the birth
Postpartum Depression:
Low mood most of the day, nearly every day
Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
Difficulty bonding with baby
Thoughts of harming yourself or the baby
Not necessarily linked to a specific traumatic event
You can have both at the same time—in fact, it's common for birth trauma to co-occur with postpartum depression. The critical thing is that if you have PTSD symptoms, antidepressants alone won't resolve the flashbacks. You need trauma-focused therapy (CBT or EMDR) to process the traumatic memory.
If you're unsure, speak to your GP or a perinatal mental health specialist who can do a proper assessment.
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This is a common fear, and it's understandable—the thought of revisiting trauma can feel overwhelming. Here's the truth:
Avoiding talking about the birth usually makes flashbacks worse in the long run. When you avoid the memory, your brain interprets this as "this memory is too dangerous to process," which keeps it stuck in that raw, unprocessed state.
However—and this is crucial—how you talk about the birth matters enormously:
Random, unstructured discussions (like with friends or online) can sometimes feel overwhelming without offering relief
Trauma-focused therapy is specifically designed to help you process the memory in a structured, safe, gradual way that reduces distress
In trauma therapy, we don't just "talk about" what happened. We actively work to help your brain process and file the memory properly so that it stops intruding into your present life. Most clients find that, yes, it's uncomfortable initially, but the relief that follows is profound.
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Yes - and that's actually part of how therapy works. If you've been pushing away feelings about the birth, those feelings are likely contributing to your flashbacks and distress.
But here's what makes therapy different from just "dwelling on it":
You're in control: We go at your pace, and you can pause or slow down anytime
You have support: You're not processing alone—you have a skilled therapist guiding you
There's a clear goal: We're not just stirring up feelings; we're actively helping your brain process them so they can finally settle
It's time-limited: Trauma-focused therapy is relatively brief (typically 8-12 sessions), not years of analysis
Think of it like this: if you had a splinter embedded in your finger, avoiding it might mean less pain in the short term. But the splinter will continue to cause problems until you address it. Removing it might hurt briefly, but then you heal properly. That's what trauma therapy does for unprocessed memories.
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Yes, absolutely. While both EMDR and Trauma-Focused CBT are effective for birth trauma, they work in different ways. Some women respond better to one than the other.
Why EMDR might work when CBT didn't:
EMDR works more with sensory and emotional memories rather than requiring you to create detailed narratives
The bilateral stimulation (eye movements) appears to help the brain process trauma differently
It can feel faster and less talk-intensive for some people
It's particularly good for processing overwhelming sensory experiences (pain, sounds, physical sensations)
Why CBT might work when EMDR didn't:
CBT helps identify and change specific unhelpful thoughts and beliefs
It offers structured techniques you can use outside of sessions
Some people prefer a more structured, cognitive approach
As a therapist trained in both approaches, I can tailor treatment to what works best for you. Sometimes we even combine elements of both.
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Not necessarily. NICE guidelines recommend trauma-focused psychological therapy (CBT or EMDR) as the first-line treatment for PTSD. Medication is not routinely offered for PTSD itself.
However, medication might be recommended if:
You're also experiencing significant depression or anxiety alongside PTSD
You're on a long waiting list for therapy and need support in the meantime
You're finding it difficult to engage with therapy due to overwhelming symptoms
You have severe symptoms that make daily functioning very difficult
If medication is suggested, it would typically be an SSRI antidepressant (most of which are compatible with breastfeeding). You can check specific medications at Breastfeeding Network Drug Factsheets.
The most important thing is that trauma therapy remains essential - medication can help with mood and anxiety, but it doesn't process the traumatic memory. You need therapy to resolve flashbacks.
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This can be really challenging, especially when people say things like "but you're both healthy!" or "just be grateful." Here are some ways to explain:
"I know we're both physically okay now, but my brain experienced the birth as life-threatening. The flashbacks I'm having are my brain's way of trying to process that fear—they're not something I can just 'get over' without help."
"Birth trauma isn't about being ungrateful. It's about my brain getting stuck on a traumatic memory. Just like someone might need therapy after a car accident even though they survived, I need support to process what happened during the birth."
"When I have a flashback, my brain thinks the traumatic event is happening again right now. It's not a choice—it's an automatic response. Therapy can help my brain properly process the memory so the flashbacks stop."
You might also share resources (like this article) with your partner or family so they can better understand what you're experiencing.
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Absolutely—in fact, this can be an ideal time. Processing your previous birth trauma during your current pregnancy can:
Reduce flashbacks and anxiety throughout pregnancy
Help you approach the upcoming birth with confidence rather than terror
Allow us to create a detailed, trauma-informed birth preferences plan
Give you coping strategies for managing triggers during labour
Many of my clients specifically seek therapy during their next pregnancy because flashbacks have intensified. We work to process the previous trauma AND prepare for a healing birth experience this time.
Both Trauma-Focused CBT and EMDR are safe during pregnancy. We can adapt the approach based on your specific needs and how far along you are.
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There are several NHS options available:
Your GP: Can refer you to NHS Talking Therapies (previously called IAPT) for free CBT or EMDR
Perinatal Mental Health Services: Specialist NHS services for mental health during pregnancy and up to 1 year postpartum—ask your GP or midwife for a referral
Self-referral: In many areas, you can self-refer directly to NHS Talking Therapies online without seeing your GP first
Health Visitor: Can provide initial support and help you access services
Be aware of waiting times: NHS services can have waiting lists, sometimes several months. If you're struggling significantly, ask your GP if there are rapid-access options or crisis support available.
Charities offering support:
Birth Trauma Association: Free peer support and resources
Pandas Foundation: Helpline 0808 196 5026 for perinatal mental health support
Mind: Information and local services
Don't let finances prevent you from seeking help. Start with your GP and explore NHS options—treatment is available.
Ready to explore whether trauma-focused therapy can help you?
Book a free 20-minute clarity call to discuss your experience and how we can work together to process your birth trauma and prepare for this birth differently.
Working with UK and EU clients online • £130 per session • Specialising in perinatal trauma, birth trauma, and secondary tokophobia
You Deserve Healing
If you're reading this and recognising yourself in these descriptions - if you're still experiencing flashbacks, avoiding reminders of your birth, or feeling trapped by fear and anxiety - please know this: What you're experiencing is real, it's valid, and it's treatable.
Birth trauma doesn't make you weak. Flashbacks don't mean you're "stuck in the past" or "not trying hard enough" to move on. Your brain is doing exactly what brains do when they've experienced overwhelming threat - it's trying to protect you.
But you don't have to keep living this way. With the right, evidence-based treatment, you can process the traumatic memory, reduce flashbacks, and reclaim your life. Whether you've just given birth or your "baby" is now starting school, it's never too late to seek help.
Related Articles You Might Find Helpful:
Do I Have Birth Trauma? Signs You're Still Affected (Even If No One Noticed)
Healing After Traumatic Birth: A Therapist's Guide to Recovery, Therapy & Support
Tokophobia Treatment: A Therapist's Guide to Healing Your Fear of Childbirth
Traumatic Birth Recovery: 8 Signs You're Still Healing (Even Years Later)
Additional Resources & Expert Information
NHS Guidelines & Information
NICE Guidelines:
NICE Guideline for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (NG116) - Evidence-based recommendations for PTSD treatment
NICE Guideline for Antenatal and Postnatal Mental Health (CG192) - Guidance on identifying and treating perinatal mental health problems
NHS Mental Health Support:
Your GP: Your first port of call for accessing NHS mental health services
Health Visitor: Can provide initial support and referrals to specialist services
NHS Talking Therapies: Free psychological therapy services available across England (previously called IAPT)
Perinatal Mental Health Services: Specialist NHS services for mental health during pregnancy and the first year after birth—ask your GP or midwife for referrals
UK Charities & Support Organisations
Birth Trauma Association
Website: birthtraumaassociation.org.uk
Provides information, peer support, and resources for parents who have experienced traumatic births
Signposting to appropriate services and professionals
Make Birth Better
Website: makebirthbetter.org
Campaign to improve maternity care and prevent birth trauma
Offers support and advocacy resources
Pandas Foundation (Pre and Postnatal Depression Advice and Support)
Helpline: 0808 196 5026
Website: pandasfoundation.org.uk
Support for all perinatal mental health conditions, including birth trauma and PTSD
Tommy's
Website: tommys.org
Research and information about pregnancy complications, loss, and birth trauma
Midwife-led information service
Research & Further Reading
Key Studies on Birth Trauma and PTSD:
Hi, I’m Aleksandra!
I'm a registered Mental Health Nurse (NMC), accredited CBT therapist (BABCP), and specialist perinatal therapist based in Leicestershire, offering online therapy throughout the UK. With over 8 years of mental health nursing experience in the NHS and extensive specialist training in perinatal mental health and birth trauma, I'm passionate about helping mums heal from traumatic birth experiences using evidence-based approaches including Trauma-Focused CBT (Ehlers & Clark model) and EMDR. I'm currently completing my EMDR training (May 2026) to offer even more effective treatment options for birth trauma PTSD.
Professional Credentials:
Registered Mental Health Nurse (NMC)
Accredited Cognitive Behavioural Therapist (BABCP)
Specialist Perinatal CBT Therapist
EMDR Practitioner (in training, completing May 2026)
8+ years NHS mental health experience
Extensive perinatal mental health training
Let’s connect:
Disclaimer:
The information provided in this article is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your healthcare provider, mental health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your pregnancy or mental health.

