Why can't I stop checking for blood every time I go to the toilet in my pregnancy after miscarriage?

This is hypervigilance—a trauma response. Your body remembers what happened in your previous pregnancy and is on high alert trying to protect you from more heartbreak. Every toilet trip feels like a test because last time, that's how you found out something was wrong. This isn't overthinking or being anxious—it's trauma. Trauma-focused therapy helps by processing what happened before so your nervous system can differentiate this pregnancy from that loss. We work on nervous system regulation so you're not constantly in survival mode.

Is it normal to not feel excited about being pregnant again after miscarriage or stillbirth?

Absolutely normal. This is called emotional cushioning—keeping the baby at arm's length to protect yourself from potential devastation. Many women describe feeling numb, disconnected, or unable to bond. It's not that you don't want this baby—it's that your mind is protecting you. Therapy helps you understand this response isn't a character flaw. We create space for both grief and cautious hope, allowing connection to unfold without forcing it or feeling guilty about it.

Why do I panic before every scan even when previous scans were fine?

Scan anxiety is incredibly common after loss because scans are where many women found out their baby had died. Even if this pregnancy's scans have been positive, your body remembers the terror of that moment. The anxiety doesn't mean something's wrong—it means you're traumatized. In therapy, we create individualized scan-day coping plans including breathing techniques, grounding exercises, and scripts for communicating with sonographers. Relief from one scan doesn't last long—so we build sustainable tools you can use every time.

I'm Googling pregnancy symptoms at 2am constantly. How do I stop?

The 2am Google spiral is your anxious mind trying to find certainty in an uncertain situation. Every cramp, every symptom change triggers worst-case thinking. In therapy, we break this pattern by addressing the underlying trauma driving the hypervigilance. We create specific strategies for middle-of-the-night panic including thought-stopping techniques, grounding exercises, and nervous system calming. The goal isn't to never worry—it's to stop the spiral from consuming you so you can actually sleep.

What's the difference between pregnancy anxiety and pregnancy after loss trauma?

Pregnancy after loss isn't just anxiety—it's trauma. General pregnancy anxiety is worry about normal unknowns. Pregnancy after loss trauma includes hypervigilance, emotional numbing, intrusive memories of previous loss, anniversary reactions, inability to bond, and constant bracing for disaster. Your nervous system is stuck in survival mode because it remembers what happened before. This is why standard anxiety techniques like 'stay positive' or 'just breathe' don't work. You need trauma-focused therapy that processes what happened before and regulates your nervous system.

Can therapy really help if I'm convinced I'll lose this pregnancy too?

Yes. Therapy isn't about making you believe everything will be fine—it's about helping you navigate the fear without being consumed by it. We work on differentiating this pregnancy from that loss so you can be present in this pregnancy rather than constantly reliving what happened before. Research shows trauma-focused CBT significantly reduces anxiety and improves bonding in pregnancy after loss. You'll learn to hold both fear and hope without forcing positivity. The goal is reducing the torture of constant dread, not guaranteeing outcomes.

I can't let myself buy baby things or tell people I'm pregnant. Is this normal?

Completely normal. This is emotional cushioning and protective avoidance. You're trying to minimize potential devastation by not getting invested. Many women wait until they've passed the week they lost their previous baby, or until viability, or until birth. Some never buy anything until baby arrives. In therapy, we don't force you to do these things before you're ready. Instead, we work on processing the trauma so you can make choices from a place of coping rather than pure terror. Connection and preparation can come in their own time.

Why do I feel guilty for not being happy about this pregnancy?

Because everyone expects you to be overjoyed, but you're terrified. Friends say 'you must be so excited!' and you feel like you're failing because you're not. The guilt comes from the gap between what you think you should feel and what you actually feel. In therapy, we work with this guilt using Compassion-Focused Therapy. Your lack of joy isn't a character flaw—it's a trauma response. We build self-compassion so you can hold both the grief for what you lost and cautious hope for this pregnancy without shame.

Do you offer therapy specifically for pregnancy after stillbirth or late-term loss?

Yes. Pregnancy after stillbirth or late-term loss has specific layers including tokophobia (fear of birth), body trauma from delivering a baby who died, and terror in third trimester when you reach the gestation you lost your baby. You may experience intrusive memories of labor or the moment you found out your baby had died. I'm trained in trauma-focused CBT and EMDR (completing training May 2026) which are effective for processing birth trauma and stillbirth. We also work on birth preparation so you can approach labor with less terror.

How long does therapy for pregnancy after loss take?

Most clients work with me for 6-12 sessions throughout their pregnancy, though this varies based on individual needs. Sessions 1-3 typically focus on trauma processing from previous loss and nervous system regulation. Sessions 4-6 address bonding difficulties, scan coping strategies, and emotional work. Later sessions focus on birth preparation if needed. Sessions are £130 each and can be weekly or fortnightly depending on what feels right. Research shows trauma-focused therapy needs at least 6 sessions for meaningful change—this isn't something that resolves in 1-2 sessions.

What makes you different from other therapists who treat pregnancy after loss?

I'm a BABCP-accredited CBT therapist with 10+ years NHS experience including specialist training in perinatal mental health. I work part-time in an NHS perinatal mental health team which means I have specialist supervision and see pregnancy after loss, birth trauma, and perinatal PTSD daily. I treat pregnancy after loss as trauma, not just anxiety. Most therapists offer standard CBT and tell you to stay positive—I use trauma-focused CBT, Compassion-Focused Therapy, ACT, nervous system regulation, and EMDR (from May 2026). I understand that hypervigilance, emotional cushioning, and scan panic aren't character flaws—they're trauma symptoms that need trauma treatment.

What if I lose this pregnancy during therapy?

If you experience loss during our work together, we shift focus to acute grief support and processing this loss. You won't be abandoned and you won't be charged for sessions during acute loss if you need to pause therapy. We'll decide together whether to pause or continue based on what feels right for you. Even if the unthinkable happens, you'll have trauma processing skills, coping tools, and a foundation of support. But my hope and the goal is that therapy helps you navigate this pregnancy with more steadiness and less constant dread.

Therapy for Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth & Baby Loss

Stop Living Scan to Scan. Reclaim Your Pregnancy. Rebuild Your Motherhood Journey.

You tested positive. But instead of joy, you felt fear.

start your journey with 20-minute discovery call

This Pregnancy Feels Different

Even when the test turns positive, your heart can't fully relax.

You're listening for every symptom. Checking for blood at every toilet trip. Holding your breath at each scan. Wondering: is this really our turn, or will loss take this one too?

You want to trust this pregnancy - but your mind keeps spinning worst-case scenarios.

This isn't overthinking. This is trauma.

Your body remembers the heartbreak. Your mind remembers what it felt like to lose. And every cramp, every scan, every silence can feel like it's happening again.

If you're here, maybe you're exhausted from white-knuckling your way through this pregnancy alone.

There is support that doesn't force positivity or tell you to "just relax."

I'm Aleksandra, a BABCP-accredited CBT therapist specialising in pregnancy after loss. I help women carry both the fear and the hope - without drowning in dread.

counselling for pregnancy after miscarriage and stillbirth

Does This Sound Like You?

In my work as a CBT therapist specialising in pregnancy after loss, I’ve noticed something again and again - the fear doesn’t go away as pregnancy moves on. It just changes shape.

What feels most overwhelming in the first trimester often isn’t the same as what hurts most later on. Each stage brings its own emotional challenges, especially when you’ve already lived through loss.

You might recognise yourself in one of these phases, or in all of them. Wherever you are right now, you’re not strange or failing - you’re responding to something that’s been deeply frightening.

Psychological support and therapy for pregnancy after loss

→ Every toilet trip feels like a test. You wipe and check for blood, heart racing.
→ You've taken 11 pregnancy tests (or more) just to make sure you're still pregnant.
→ Every cramp makes you think: this is it, I'm losing it again.
→ Symptoms disappeared? Panic. "If I'm not feeling sick, something must be wrong."
→ You're Googling at 2am: "5 weeks pregnant, cramping, is this normal?"
→ You're counting down to your scan like it's the only place you'll feel safe - then the anxiety starts again as soon as it's over.
→ You can't tell anyone you're pregnant yet. Not until you've passed the week you lost your last baby.
→ You're past the first trimester, but you still don't feel safe.
→ You can't buy baby things. It feels like tempting fate.
→ Friends are excited, but you're emotionally cushioning yourself - keeping the baby at arm's length, just in case.
→ You feel guilty for not feeling joyful. Everyone says "you're in the safe zone now" - but you don't feel safe at all.
→ Movement checks become obsessive. If the baby's quiet, you panic.
→ You're avoiding pregnant friends, baby showers, anything that forces you to pretend you're okay.
→ You've made it this far, but now you're terrified of labour.
→ If you had a second-trimester loss, stillbirth, or TFMR, the idea of giving birth again feels unbearable.
→ You're researching every possible complication. What if the cord wraps? What if they can't find a heartbeat?
→ You're planning your birth, but every decision feels loaded with fear.
→ You want to feel excited about meeting your baby, but instead you're just trying to survive until they're safely in your arms.

If any of this resonates, you're not broken. You're traumatised.

And trauma isn't something you can "think your way out of." It lives in your body, your nervous system, your scan-day panic, your 2am Google spirals.
But trauma can be treated. And you don't have to do it alone.

let's chat how the support can look like

Why Pregnancy After Loss Feels So Different

When someone says, "you should be happy now," it can feel like you're failing at something that's meant to be beautiful.

But here's the truth: pregnancy after loss isn't just anxiety. It's trauma.

Your body remembers:
- The moment you found out something was wrong
- The scan where there was no heartbeat
- The physical pain of loss
- The grief that followed

And now you're pregnant again - and your nervous system is on high alert, trying to protect you from more heartbreak.

This is why:
- You can't "just relax"
- Positive thinking doesn't quiet the fear
- Every scan feels like you're waiting for bad news
- You can't bond "just in case"

This isn't a mindset problem. It's a trauma response.
And it needs trauma-focused support - not just reassurance that "everything will be fine this time."

Want to understand why the pregnancy after miscarriage feels so different?
Read: Pregnancy After Miscarriage Anxiety: Why It Happens and How to Cope

book a free call to start therapy

This isn't about forcing yourself to feel positive. It's about learning to hold both the fear and the hope.

Together, we work on:

How Therapy Helps You Reclaim This Pregnancy

✿ Breaking the 2am Google Spiral ✿
So your nights feel less like survival mode and more like rest.

✿ Steadying Yourself at Scans ✿
Not because the fear vanishes, but because you have tools to breathe in the waiting room.

✿ Releasing the Guilt When Symptoms Change ✿
Learning to notice your body without assuming the worst every single time.

✿ Making Space for Both Grief and Hope ✿
So you don't feel like you're failing if joy doesn't come easily.

✿ Letting Connection Come in Its Own Time ✿
Relieving the pressure to bond right now. Allowing it to unfold without shame.

✿ Processing What Happened Last Time ✿
Because unless we address the trauma from your previous loss, the symptoms will keep showing up in this pregnancy.

✿ Calming Your Nervous System ✿
So your body isn't always stuck in fight-flight-freeze, waiting for the next disaster.

This isn't about pretending everything's fine.

It's about finding ways to live through this pregnancy without drowning in dread - and letting yourself experience moments of steadiness, connection, and even cautious hope.

For a more in-depth look at how CBT helps during PAL:
How to Cope with Anxiety in Pregnancy After Miscarriage: CBT Therapy & Support

My Approach: Trauma-Focused Therapy for Pregnancy After Loss

Pregnancy after loss isn't just "pregnancy anxiety."
It's trauma - and it needs trauma treatment.

Here's why my approach is different:

Therapist for pregnancy after miscarriage, stillbirth helping to reduce stress and anxiety

Many therapists treat pregnancy after loss like general anxiety. They teach breathing exercises and tell you to "stay positive."
But that doesn't work when you're traumatised.
I'm a BABCP-accredited CBT therapist with 10+ years NHS experience, including specialist training in perinatal mental health. I work as a perinatal clinician in the NHS perinatal mental health team, which means I have specialist supervision and expertise in pregnancy after loss, birth trauma, and perinatal PTSD.
I understand that your hypervigilance, your inability to bond, your scan-day panic - these aren't character flaws. They're trauma symptoms.
And I treat them as trauma, not just "worry."
I use:
→ Trauma-Focused CBT to process what happened in your previous pregnancy/birth
→ Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) to work with the guilt, shame, and self-blame that often comes with loss
→ Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help you hold both fear and hope without forcing positivity
→ Nervous system regulation so your body can come down from high alert
→ EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) - I'm completing my training in May 2026 and will be able to offer this powerful trauma therapy for processing traumatic memories
Why this matters:
Unless we address the trauma from what happened before, the anxiety symptoms in this pregnancy won't fully resolve. We can teach you coping skills for scans, but if the underlying trauma isn't processed, you'll still be living in survival mode.
This isn't "talk therapy" where you leave each session feeling heard but with no idea what to do on Monday morning.
We create:
- Scan-day coping plans (individualised for you)
- Scripts for advocating with medical professionals
- 2am spiral-breaking strategies (so you can get back to sleep)
- Movement-check routines that don't become compulsive
- Partner communication guides (so they know how to support you)
These are created together during sessions - tailored to your specific triggers, fears, and pregnancy stage.
I know:
- The difference between first-trimester hypervigilance and second-trimester bonding avoidance
- Why passing "the week you lost your last baby" feels like crossing a minefield
- How tokophobia (fear of birth) often emerges after stillbirth or late-term loss
- Why hearing "you're in the safe zone now" at 12 weeks doesn't actually make you feel safe
- How recurrent loss is different from single loss
- Why TFMR (termination for medical reasons) carries specific guilt and shame
You won't have to explain why you're terrified at "good news."
I already understand.

Still wondering if your anxiety is “normal” or worth support?
7 Things I Tell My Clients Who Are Pregnant Again After Miscarriage — That They Can’t Find on Google

What Therapy Looks Like And How We Work?

Session length: 50 minutes
Format: Online (secure video), UK and EU-wide
Frequency: Weekly or fortnightly (your choice)
Pricing: Individual session: £130

How We Work Together

- Share what happened in your previous pregnancy
- Talk about what you're finding hardest right now
- Ask any questions about therapy
- Decide if we're the right fit
Together, we'll:
- Understand your trauma response (hypervigilance, emotional cushioning, bonding avoidance)
- Identify your biggest triggers (scans, symptoms, milestone dates)
- Set gentle goals for this pregnancy
- Decide on session frequency (weekly or fortnightly)
Early sessions focus on:
- Processing what happened in your previous loss
- Understanding why your nervous system is on high alert
- Building scan-day coping strategies
- Breaking the 2am Google spiral
Middle sessions focus on:
- Working through guilt and emotional cushioning
- Making space for cautious connection with this baby
- Addressing shame ("why can't I just be happy?")
- Partner communication
Later sessions focus on:
- Birth preparation (especially if you had late-term loss)
- Addressing tokophobia if it's emerged
- Anticipatory grief work (planning for postpartum)
- Closure and transition out of therapy
You're not just getting CBT techniques. You're getting trauma treatment from someone who understands the layers of pregnancy after loss.

book your free 20-minute call

Therapeutic Approaches I Use

Your care is grounded in clinical research, trauma-informed practice, and 10+ years of NHS mental health experience.

These are the frameworks I draw from - always adapted to your story:

→ Break the 2am spiral of Googling every symptom
→ Create calming rituals for scan days
→ Understand why your body stays on high alert, and how to gently soothe it
→ Process what happened in your previous pregnancy/birth
→ Reduce intrusive memories and flashbacks
→ Work with anniversary reactions (e.g., reaching the week you lost your last baby)
→ Quiet the inner critic that says you're "failing at pregnancy"
→ Release shame for not feeling joyful all the time
→ Build an inner voice that steadies you when guilt or fear take over
→ Learn how to sit with fear without being consumed by it
→ Hold space for both grief and cautious hope - without forcing "positivity"
→ Stay grounded in the day you're in, instead of fast-forwarding to worst-case scenarios
→ Understand your trauma response (fight/flight/freeze/fawn)
→ Learn to bring your nervous system down from high alert
→ Body-based techniques to calm scan-day panic
→ I'm completing EMDR training in May 2026
→ EMDR is one of the most effective trauma therapies for processing traumatic memories
→ If you start therapy before May, we can incorporate EMDR once I'm fully trained

This isn't a one-size-fits-all process. It's a toolkit we shape together - so you leave each session with something that helps you today, not just "someday."

Why Work With a Specialist in Pregnancy After Loss?

You deserve support from someone who knows this terrain - not someone you need to educate about it.

CBT trauma-focused CBT Therapist for pregnancy after loss

✿ BABCP-Accredited CBT Therapist ✿
10+ years experience in perinatal mental health, including NHS perinatal mental health team placement with specialist supervision

✿ Specialist Perinatal Mental Health Clinician ✿
Currently working part-time in NHS perinatal mental health team—I see pregnancy after loss, birth trauma, tokophobia, and postnatal presentations daily

✿ Trauma-Focused Training ✿
Trained in Trauma-Focused CBT, CFT for perinatal period, and completing EMDR training (May 2026)

✿ Deep Understanding of How Trauma Shows Up in Pregnancy ✿
From sleepless nights to panic at the Doppler sound, from emotional cushioning to scan-day spirals—I understand the layers of pregnancy after loss

✿ Not a Generalist ✿
I don't treat "a bit of everything." I specialise in perinatal trauma: pregnancy after loss, birth trauma, tokophobia, postnatal PTSD

This mix of specialist training and NHS perinatal experience means you won't have to explain why you're terrified at "good news," or why hope feels dangerous.

I already understand. And I can help.

Am I the Right Therapist for You?

Therapy works best when there's a good fit between therapist and client. Here's how to know if we might work well together.

We're likely a good fit if:

✓ You're currently pregnant after miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or baby loss

✓ You're experiencing hypervigilance (checking for blood, obsessive Googling, scan anxiety)

✓ You're struggling with emotional cushioning - keeping the baby at arm's length, just in case

✓ You can't bond with this pregnancy because you're terrified of losing it

✓ You're having intrusive thoughts about something going wrong

✓ You're experiencing guilt for not feeling joyful, or shame for being "too anxious"

✓ You want trauma-focused therapy, not just reassurance

✓ You're open to processing what happened in your previous pregnancy/loss

✓ You want a specialist who understands the layers of PAL, not a generalist or counsellor

We may not be a good fit if:

✗ You're primarily seeking grief counseling for your loss (I focus on supporting current pregnancy, not primary grief work)

✗ You want therapy that's just about "staying positive" or breathing exercises (I do trauma-focused work)

✗ You're not currently pregnant and are focused on trying to conceive (I specialise in pregnancy after loss, not TTC anxiety)

✗ You're looking for someone to tell you "everything will be fine this time" (I can't predict outcomes, but I can help you navigate the fear)

Let's talk it throught during a call!

What My Clients Say

"The process was as smooth as can be, and from our first chat, where I unloaded all my burdens, my fears, where Aleksandra understood all that I had gone through, I felt a ray of hope that perhaps I could one day enjoy the pregnancy that was passing too quickly for me."

- Anonymous client, Pregnancy After Loss Therapy

Q&A

Pregnancy after loss isn't something you can "positive-think" your way through. The hypervigilance, the inability to bond, the scan-day panic - these are trauma symptoms. They need trauma treatment.
CBT for pregnancy after loss has been shown in research to significantly reduce anxiety and improve bonding. You're not weak for needing support - you're wise for seeking it.
No. Trauma-focused therapy is about processing what happened so it has less grip on you - not about re-traumatising you. We work at your pace, with tools to keep you regulated.
The goal is to help you differentiate this pregnancy from that loss - so you can be present in this pregnancy without constantly reliving what happened before.
Therapy isn't just about "making this pregnancy work out."
It's about:
- Reducing the torture of living in constant fear
- Giving you tools to navigate this pregnancy with more steadiness
- Processing previous trauma so it doesn't control you
- Building resilience for whatever comes next
Even if the unthinkable happens, you'll have:
- Coping tools
- Trauma processing skills
- A foundation of support
But my hope - and the goal - is that you get through this pregnancy feeling more grounded, more connected, and less consumed by dread.
Most clients with pregnancy after loss work with me for 6-12 sessions, though some continue throughout pregnancy.
Why 6 sessions minimum?
- Sessions 1-3: Trauma processing + nervous system regulation
- Sessions 4-6: Bonding work + scan-day coping + birth preparation
Yes!
Partner sessions can be powerful for:
- Helping them understand your trauma response
- Teaching them how to support you (not reassure you)
- Creating communication strategies
If you experience loss during our work together, we'll shift focus to:
- Acute grief support
- Processing this loss
- Deciding together whether to pause or continue
You won't be abandoned. And you won't be charged for sessions during acute loss if you need to pause.
My focus is pregnancy after loss, not TTC anxiety. Once you're pregnant, that's when we begin. However, if you're in the TWW (two-week wait) and want to start preparing, we can discuss.
No.
I can't predict outcomes, and I won't offer false reassurance.
What I can do:
- Help you navigate the fear
- Process the trauma from what happened before
- Give you tools to steady yourself
- Hold space for both hope and grief
You need a therapist who can sit with uncertainty alongside you - not one who pretends uncertainty doesn't exist.

Common Questions About Therapy for Pregnancy After Loss

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Outline of a flower with a single stem, a leaf, and a blooming flower on top, all in white against a black background.

Specialist Therapy and Support for Pregnancy After Baby Loss

Ready to Reclaim This Pregnancy?

You don't have to keep white-knuckling your way through this pregnancy alone.

With the right support, you can:
- Wake up without immediately Googling symptoms
- Get through scans without feeling like you're going to collapse
- Make space for cautious connection with this baby
- Feel steady instead of constantly braced for disaster

This pregnancy doesn't have to be defined by the trauma of what came before.

You can carry both the fear and the hope. And you don't have to do it alone.

start with a free 20-minute call

Therapy for Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth & Baby Loss

Stop Living Scan to Scan. Reclaim Your Pregnancy. Rebuild Your Motherhood Journey.

This Pregnancy Feels Different

Does This Sound Like You?