You will not lose your baby because you have intrusive thoughts.

Let me be crystal clear: Intrusive thoughts are ego-dystonic - they go against everything you believe and want. They're a symptom of anxiety/OCD, not a risk to your baby.

The difference between intrusive thoughts (common, not dangerous) and genuine risk (rare):

✅ Intrusive thoughts:
- You're horrified by them (not planning them)
- You avoid acting on them (not preparing to)
- They cause you distress (not intent)
- You want them to STOP

❌ Genuine risk:
- Planning harm
- No distress about the thoughts - Making preparations
- Intent to act

Health visitors, GPs, and therapists see intrusive thoughts ALL THE TIME.

Nearly 50% of new parents experience them.
It's one of the most common postnatal symptoms.

"Parents very rarely spontaneously volunteer having intrusive thoughts of harming their baby, even when answering questions concerning their depression, anxiety disorder, or OCD. This can be because of a feeling of shame and a fear that the baby may be removed from them by statutory services." - British Journal of General Practice (Lawrence at al., 2017)

Therapy is a safe space to talk about the thoughts you're too scared to say out loud.
I've heard it all. Nothing you say will shock me. And I'm legally and ethically bound to keep it confidential unless there's genuine risk toy you, others or your baby.

I use the same evidence-based CBT and CFT protocols as the NHS - because I trained and worked in NHS perinatal services for years.

The difference: NHS Talking Therapies & Perinatal Services:
- ✅ Free
- ❌ Often 12-week+ waiting lists
- ❌ Often capped at 6-8 sessions
- ❌ Rigid appointment times
- ❌ No between-session support
- ❌ Limited CFT availability (not all services offer it)

Private Perinatal Therapy:
- ❌ £130 per session
- ✅ Book within days (no waiting list)
- ✅ Longer-term support (12-20 sessions if needed)
- ✅ Flexible scheduling (early mornings, evenings, weekends)
- ✅ Between-session email support
- ✅ Integrated CBT + CFT approach

Think of it as NHS-quality expertise without the wait.

If you're asking this question, the answer is yes - reach out.

You don't need:
- A formal diagnosis
- To be "the worst case"
- To have tried everything else first
- To be "struggling enough"

If you're:
- Constantly anxious when you thought you'd feel joy
- Having intrusive thoughts that won't stop
- Feeling numb instead of connected
- Avoiding situations because the anxiety is too much
- Struggling to bond and the guilt is crushing
- Checking obsessively and it's exhausting
- Can't sleep even when the baby sleeps
- Thinking "I can't do this"
- Telling yourself "I'm a terrible mother" That's enough. You deserve support.

Don't wait until you're at breaking point.

Most clients find 8-12 sessions helpful.

Some feel significantly better within 4-6 weeks.

Others need longer-term support (>12 sessions).

We review progress regularly so you're not in endless therapy with no end in sight.

Timeline depends on:
- Severity of symptoms - Whether it's anxiety, OCD, depression, or a combination
- How much shame/self-criticism is involved
- Your support system
- How much sleep you're getting (seriously - sleep deprivation makes everything harder)

This is goal-focused CBT/CFT, not open-ended counselling.

We work toward specific outcomes:
- Reducing intrusive thoughts
- Managing anxiety without constant checking
- Rebuilding connection with your baby
- Feeling like yourself again
- Developing self-compassion instead of self-criticism

When you hit those goals, we stop. Simple.

I understand cost is a real barrier.

Options: 1. NHS Talking Therapies (Formerly knowns as IAPT):
- Free, self-referral
- Search "NHS Talking Therapies [your area]"
- Waiting lists can be long (8-12 weeks+), but some services prioritise perinatal clients
- Support can be capped at 6-8 sessions

2. Perinatal Mental Health Teams:
- Free, specialist perinatal support
- Ask your GP or health visitor for referral
- Not available in all areas
- Waiting lists vary

3. Payment plans:
- If you're serious about starting but need flexibility
- Let's discuss options during your discovery call
- Some clients space sessions fortnightly instead of weekly

4. Check your employer:
- Some offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) with free therapy sessions

You're not alone. And you're not broken.

The stats:
- 20% of new mothers experience postnatal mental health difficulties (Howard & Khalifeh 2020.)
- Nearly 50% of parents have intrusive thoughts about their baby (Fairbrother & Woody 2008).
- Postnatal OCD is twice as common as OCD in the general population (Abramowitz, et al. 2003).
- 1 in 7 women experience postnatal depression (O'Hara & McCabe 2013.)
- Shame and self-criticism are CORE symptoms of postnatal depression (Lawrence et al. 2024)

This is not a personal failing. It's a medical condition that responds to treatment.

The shame is the symptom - not the truth.

Postnatal anxiety and OCD can be invisible from the outside. Your partner might see you "coping" and not realise you're drowning inside.

What helps:
1. Share information: - NHS resources on postnatal anxiety/OCD/depression
- Articles from trusted sources (not Google rabbit holes)
- Say: "This is a recognized medical condition, not me being dramatic"
2. Bring them to a session:
- I can explain what you're experiencing
- Help them understand how to support you
- Answer their questions
- Explain why "just relax" doesn't work
3. Be specific about what you need:
- Not: "I need more help"
- Try: "I need you to take the baby for 2 hours on Saturday so I can sleep" - Or: "I need you to believe me when I say I'm struggling"
4. Normalise it: - "This is depression/OCD/anxiety, not me being weak. I need treatment, just like I would for any other illness."

You deserve to be believed, not dismissed.

CBT and CFT are gold-standard, evidence-based treatments for anxiety, OCD, and depression - including in the postnatal period.

If you're not seeing progress within 6-8 sessions, we reassess:
Possible reasons:
- Do you need a different approach? (e.g., trauma-focused work, medication referral)
- Are there practical barriers? (lack of sleep, no support, physical health issues)
- Is the therapeutic relationship the right fit?
- Is self-criticism still too strong? (may need more CFT work)

We don't just keep doing the same thing if it's not working.

We adjust:
- Different techniques - Different pacing
- More focus on CFT vs CBT (or vice versa)
- Involve your GP for medication assessment
- Refer to NHS specialist perinatal services if needed

You're not stuck with therapy that isn't working.

Yes.

Not bonding with your baby is one of the most painful - and most common - symptoms of postnatal depression.

Therapy can't force you to feel love. But it can:
1. Reduce the depression that's numbing your emotions
2. Address the anxiety that's blocking connection
3. Give you tools to interact with your baby in ways that BUILD attachment over time
4. Reduce the shame so you can actually be present
5. Work with self-criticism ("I'm a terrible mother for not loving my baby" → "I'm depressed, and depression blocks connection")

Love often grows gradually as you heal."Bonding is when you develop feelings of unconditional love for your newborn. Often, bonding happens gradually over the baby's first year of life." - American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists

You're not a lost cause. You're depressed. And depression is treatable.

No - therapy alone is often effective.

But medication CAN help, especially for:
- Moderate to severe depression
- Severe anxiety that's not responding to therapy alone
- Postnatal OCD that's very intrusive

If medication is discussed:
- It would be prescribed by your GP, not me
- I can help you weigh pros/cons
- Certain SSRIs (like Sertraline) are considered safe for breastfeeding
- You're not "failing" if you need medication - you're treating a medical condition

Many women do therapy alone. Many do therapy + medication. Both work.

If you're experiencing:
- Can't stop thinking about your birth → Birth Trauma Therapy
- Terrified to give birth again → Tokophobia Therapy
- Postnatal anxiety/OCD/depression → This page

Many women need support for multiple things:
- Processing your traumatic birth AND managing current anxiety
- Healing from birth trauma AND rebuilding bond with baby
- Managing tokophobia (fear of future birth) AND postnatal depression

We can work on multiple issues in therapy - or focus on one at a time.