Birth Trauma Therapy That Helps You Feel Safe Again

Specialist CBT and trauma-focused therapy for women who can't stop thinking about their birth, or who feel their body failed them. Based in Leicestershire, available online across the UK and worldwide.

start your journey with 20-minute discovery call

You Are Not Broken

However you found your way here - whether someone recommended me, whether you've been researching birth trauma therapists for weeks, or whether you're just starting to realise that what you experienced was traumatic - I'm so glad you're here.

I'm Aleksandra Balazy-Knas, an Accredited CBT Therapist and Mental Health Nurse with over a decade of NHS mental health experience. I help women process what happened during their traumatic birth so they can finally move forward – whether that means healing from the past, or preparing differently for next time.

Perinatal CBT Therapist for tokophobia and birth trauma couselling

Right now, your birth might feel like something you're carrying every single day - in your body, your mind, the way you move through the world.

Here's what changes when you process birth trauma with trauma-focused therapy:

What Life Looks Like When You're No Longer Carrying Your Birth

In Your Body:

𑁍 The tightness in your chest when someone mentions birth starts to ease.
𑁍 You stop bracing yourself when you see pregnant women or hear a baby cry.
𑁍 You can be touched - by your partner, by healthcare providers - without flinching.
𑁍 Sleep becomes restorative instead of filled with nightmares.
𑁍 Your body starts to feel like yours again, not the place trauma happened.

In Your Mind:

𑁍 Flashbacks shift from feeling like you're back in the delivery room to becoming memories - still present, but not overwhelming.
𑁍 You can think about your birth without being pulled back into it.
𑁍 The intrusive thoughts ("what if I had..." "why didn't I...") quiet down.
𑁍 You can hold both grief and gratitude without feeling guilty about either.

In Your Daily Life:

𑁍 You're actually present with your baby instead of mentally elsewhere.
𑁍 You can enjoy moments - bath time, bedtime, first smiles, birthdays, milestones - without the trauma hijacking them.
𑁍 You stop avoiding anything that reminds you of birth.
𑁍 If you want more children, you can plan for the future without terror consuming you.
𑁍 You feel like yourself again - or maybe a stronger, more integrated version of yourself.

This doesn't happen overnight. It takes work. But it does happen.

Start Your Healing Journey

When Birth Leaves You Carrying Something You Can't Shake

Here's what no one talks about: up to 1 in 3 women describe their birth as traumatic (Ayers, Horsch et al., 2024). Around 4-6% develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after giving birth (Yildiz, Ayers et al., 2017).

But here's the thing – you don't need a formal PTSD diagnosis for your experience to matter.

Maybe you've coped by staying strong during the day, keeping busy with your baby, but lying awake at 2am while your partner sleeps soundly.
Maybe you've told everyone you're 'fine' while avoiding any conversation about birth or having another baby.
Maybe you've skipped your postnatal appointments because the thought of sitting in a GP surgery makes your chest tighten

Read more here: What is Birth Trauma? Causes, Symptoms, and How to Heal

→ Many women pregnant again after traumatic birth also experience tokophobia (overwhelming fear of giving birth again). If intense fear about your upcoming labour is dominating your pregnancy, my Tokophobia Therapy page covers specialised support for managing that anxiety. Often, both birth trauma processing AND tokophobia therapy are needed.

You didn't fail. Your body didn't fail. You survived something really hard.

And you don't have to carry this alone.

Specialist PTSD Therapy for traumatic birth
book your free call

The Signs You're Still Carrying Your Birth

Birth trauma doesn't always look like crying or panic attacks. Sometimes it's quieter than that.

You might be experiencing birth trauma if you:

𑁍In Your Mind𑁍

Still think about your birth every single day, months or years later

Lie awake at 2am replaying every moment, analyzing what went wrong or what you should have done differently

Have intrusive thoughts like "I should have..." or "Why didn't I..." that you can't shut off

Get flashbacks that feel like you're back in the delivery room - not just remembering, but reliving it

Avoid anything that reminds you of birth - TV shows with birth scenes, pregnant friends, hospitals, even your maternity notes

Google your birth experience obsessively, reading medical journals at 3am trying to understand what happened

𑁍In Your Body𑁍

Feel panic or your chest tighten when you think about your birth

Can't be touched intimately because it brings you back to feeling exposed and vulnerable during labour

Feel disconnected from your body, like it betrayed or failed you

Experience physical tensing, nausea, or shaking when remembering birth

Feel constantly on edge, hypervigilant, can't fully relax even in "safe" moments

Avoid medical appointments - you've "been too busy" to book the 6-week check or baby's vaccinations

𑁍In Your Daily Life𑁍

Love your baby deeply but struggle to bond because when you look at them, you see what you went through

Feel rage out of nowhere - at the midwife who didn't listen, at your body, at other mums whose births went smoothly, at yourself

Feel numb or emotionally shut down instead of the joy everyone expects you to feel

Avoid other new mums or baby groups because you can't listen to birth stories without panicking

Cry in the shower or at night when no one can see

Feel guilty for not being "grateful enough" when everyone says "at least your baby is healthy"

𑁍If You’re Pregnant Again𑁍

Feel intense dread about giving birth again - it's not normal pregnancy anxiety, it's terror

Hold your breath through every scan, waiting for something to go wrong

Can't enjoy this pregnancy because you're just counting down to trauma happening again

Consider not having more children purely because of fear of birth, even though you desperately want another baby

Panic at prenatal appointments when they mention your birth plan or previous birth

If several of these feel familiar, you're likely experiencing birth trauma.

And here's what's important: you don't need a formal PTSD diagnosis for your experience to matter.

If it's affecting you now, it's real. And therapy can help.

Birth Trauma Isn't About What "Should" Have Traumatised You

Birth trauma happens when your experience of giving birth felt terrifying, out of control, or unsafe – whether that was for you, your baby, or both.

It doesn't matter if the medical team said everything went "fine."

It doesn't matter if you had a "normal delivery."

If it felt traumatic to you, then it was traumatic.
Your birth doesn't have to look like an emergency to leave you feeling like you survived something.

Couple holding a baby after traumatic birth and traumatic C-section birth experience

Common experiences that cause birth trauma:

During labour and birth:
• Emergency interventions you didn't expect (forceps, ventouse, emergency caesarean)
• Feeling unheard, dismissed, or ignored when you raised concerns
• Being poked, prodded, or touched without your consent - autonomy taken from you
• Severe pain that wasn't adequately managed • Losing control of what was happening to your body
• Fear that you or your baby might die • Medical staff who were dismissive, rushed, or didn't communicate
• Being separated from your baby immediately after birth • Shaking uncontrollably for hours with no explanation

After birth:
• Baby needing NICU care - hours without seeing or touching your baby
• Physical birth injuries (severe tearing, haemorrhage, broken tailbone)
• Complications that weren't explained or acknowledged
• Feeling like you "failed" at giving birth
• Being told you should just be grateful your baby is healthy
• Missing immediate skin-to-skin contact and feeling robbed

Here's what matters: trauma isn't about the event itself – it's about how your nervous system responded to it.
Your body went into survival mode. Your brain recorded everything as a threat. And now, weeks, months, or even years later, it's still trying to protect you from something that's already over. That's not weakness. That's your nervous system doing exactly what it evolved to do.

But it doesn't have to stay this way.

book your free call

How Trauma-Focused CBT Helps You Process Birth Trauma (Without Making It Worse)

I know what you're thinking: "Will talking about it just make me relive the whole thing again?"
Here's the truth – trauma-focused therapy isn't about endlessly retelling your birth story.

It's about helping your brain finally file what happened as "past" instead of "current threat." Right now, your nervous system is stuck in survival mode. Every time something reminds you of your birth, your body reacts like it's happening again right now – the shaking, the panic, the feeling of powerlessness.

Therapy helps you:

  • What this means for you: You'll learn techniques that actually work to bring your body out of survival mode. Instead of feeling like you're constantly on edge or numb, you'll have tools to help yourself feel safe in your own body again. Many clients tell me this is the first time since giving birth they've felt like they can take a full breath.

  • What this means for you: We'll work through what happened during your birth in a way that doesn't re-traumatize you. The goal isn't to make you 'get over it' or forget. It's to help your brain understand that what happened is in the past, so it stops reacting as if it's happening now. This is when flashbacks start to lose their grip.

  • What this means for you: As the trauma processing settles, we work on rebuilding your relationship with your body, with healthcare, and with the idea of birth (if you're planning another). This is about reclaiming your sense of agency and safety. You'll start to feel like you can trust yourself again.

  • Here's what therapy is NOT:
    ❌ Telling you to "think positive" or "just relax"
    ❌ Blaming you for what happened
    ❌ Forcing you to relive your birth in graphic detail
    ❌ Rushing you to "move on" before you're ready
    ❌ Dismissing your experience because "baby is healthy"

    What it IS:
    ✓ Meeting you where you are, at your own pace
    ✓ Giving you practical tools that actually work
    ✓ Helping you feel safe in your body again
    ✓ Processing what happened so you can finally stop carrying it

book your free call

A Note on Therapy for Birth Trauma

I know what you might be thinking: "Won't talking about my birth just make me relive it and make everything worse?"

This is the most common concern I hear. And it makes complete sense.

Here's the truth: properly structured trauma therapy is designed specifically to NOT re-traumatise you.

We don't dive straight into the worst moments of your birth in session one. We build safety and resources first - teaching your nervous system that it's safe now, giving you grounding techniques that actually work.

And when we do process the trauma memory, we do it in a controlled, structured way using evidence-based approaches (TF-CBT or EMDR) that help your brain process the memory without overwhelming you.

Trauma-focused therapy isn't about endlessly retelling your birth story until you're desensitised.

It's about helping your brain finally understand: what happened is in the past. You're safe now.

Yes, there may be moments of discomfort as we work through the trauma. But it's contained discomfort - happening in a safe space with someone who knows how to support you through it. Not the uncontrolled flooding you experience when a flashback hits you out of nowhere at 2am.

Most clients actually feel relief after starting trauma processing - because finally something is actively addressing it, rather than just trying to avoid thinking about it or being told to "give it time."

This is also very different from "regular counseling" or "talk therapy."

I'm not going to sit with you and say "tell me how that makes you feel" for twelve sessions. Trauma-focused therapy is structured, evidence-based, and designed specifically for processing traumatic events. We have a plan. We have goals. And most clients see significant progress within 8-12 sessions.

Why You Need a Therapist Who Actually Gets Birth Trauma

Birth trauma is different from other trauma. It happens at one of the most vulnerable moments of your life. It involves your body in intimate, invasive ways. And unlike most trauma, society expects you to just "be grateful your baby is healthy."

You need someone who understands both the mental health AND the physical reality of giving birth.

Here's where my background makes a difference:

✿ I Have Deep NHS Perinatal Mental Health Experience ✿

I'm a BABCP-accredited CBT therapist and registered mental health nurse. I've spent over a decade working in NHS mental health services, and I continue to work within the NHS alongside my private practice. This means I understand both the clinical complexity of birth trauma AND the reality of how perinatal mental health services work in the UK.

Here's what makes private practice different: In the NHS, I typically offer 6-8 sessions, which can be enough for some clients but not always sufficient for processing birth trauma. The structure is designed to help as many people as possible, but there are limitations on session numbers and waiting times.
In my private practice, I can offer 12-14 sessions for birth trauma processing - the time many women actually need to work through their experience properly. There's no waiting list, you can choose when we meet, and we can go at the pace that's right for you.
I'm not here to replace the NHS - I work in it, and I value what it offers. But I also know that sometimes women need more flexibility, more time, or can't wait months for an appointment. That's where private therapy can help. You don't have to explain the NHS system to me - I work within it. I understand how it works, what it offers, and when private support might be a better fit for your needs.

✿ I Understand What Happened to Your Body During Birth ✿

As a mental health nurse and perinatal specialist, I understand the physical reality of birth - the medical interventions, the emergency decisions, the complications, the way your body went into survival mode. You won't have to explain what a ventouse delivery is, or why an emergency C-section after hours of labour feels different from a planned one. You won't have to justify why feeling dismissed by medical staff was traumatic. I've heard hundreds of birth stories. I know birth trauma doesn't always look the way people expect. If it felt traumatic to you, that's what matters.

✿ I'm Trained in Specialist Trauma-Focused Approaches ✿

I use Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) - the evidence-based treatment specifically designed for processing traumatic events like birth trauma. I'm also completing EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) certification in May 2026. EMDR is particularly powerful for birth trauma because it processes the memory at the nervous system level - not just cognitively, but physically. This isn't general counseling or "talk therapy." It's specialized trauma treatment designed to process what happened during your birth so it stops controlling your present.

✿ I Understand Pregnancy AND Postpartum - And How Trauma Affects Both ✿

Many therapists work with "perinatal mental health" but focus primarily on postnatal depression or antenatal anxiety. I specialize in trauma across the entire perinatal period. I understand: - How birth trauma shows up postpartum (the rage no one talks about, the numbness, the difficulty bonding) - How unprocessed birth trauma affects subsequent pregnancies (secondary tokophobia, hypervigilance, terror instead of excitement) - How pregnancy loss and traumatic birth intersect for women pregnant again after loss - How tokophobia can develop before any pregnancy OR after a traumatic birth If you're pregnant again and terrified, if you're postpartum and struggling, if you experienced both loss and trauma - I understand how these are connected.

Learn more about Tokophobia Therapy

With NHS experience + mental health nursing + perinatal specialisation + trauma-focused training, you're working with someone who genuinely gets birth trauma from every angle. Not someone who took a weekend course. Someone who has dedicated their entire career to this.

Here's Exactly How Birth Trauma Therapy Works

I know uncertainty makes everything harder. So here's exactly what happens when you work with me:

  • We start by understanding YOUR experience.

    I'll ask about:
    • Your birth and what felt most difficult
    • The moments that still feel "stuck" (e.g., when you thought you'd die, when staff dismissed you)
    • How it's affecting you now (sleep, bonding with baby, daily life, relationships)
    • What you're hoping to achieve in therapy
    • Any obstacles in the way (time, childcare, fear of "making it worse") By the end, you'll have: • A clear understanding of what's keeping you stuck
    • A personalised treatment plan tailored to YOUR goals
    • One practical strategy to try before our next session

  • If you're in postpartum (processing past trauma):
    We'll focus on trauma processing using Trauma-Focused CBT. This means:
    • Safely revisiting the parts of your birth that feel stuck
    • Challenging unhelpful beliefs ("My body failed me," "I'm broken," "It's my fault")
    • Releasing the emotional charge around what happened
    • Rebuilding trust in your body
    • Improving bonding with baby if trauma has created distance

    If you're pregnant again (preparing for this birth):
    We'll focus on:
    • Processing your previous traumatic birth so you can move forward
    • Understanding what happened and why it felt so traumatic
    • Reducing shame, self-blame, and guilt about your last birth
    • Challenging beliefs like "my body failed me" or "it will happen again"
    • Building confidence that this birth can be different
    • Preparing emotionally by addressing the past, not just managing future anxiety

    Note: If you're also experiencing overwhelming fear about giving birth again (tokophobia), we can address that too - or I can refer you to my specialized Tokophobia Therapy service which focuses specifically on managing anxiety about upcoming labour.

  • After 4-6 sessions, we pause and review: "How are things? Do we continue, or do you feel ready to finish?"
    Many clients find they need 8-12 sessions total, but everyone's timeline is different. You're in control.

    What Each Session Looks Like (50-60 minutes)
    • Check-in: How have you been since last time?
    • Main work: Processing trauma, learning new skills, or preparing for birth
    • Reflection: What did you notice? What do you want to practice this week?
    • Between sessions: You'll have something to reflect on or practice (but it won't feel like homework)

  • Online therapy only – via secure video call. You can be anywhere in the UK (I'm based in Leicestershire and Warwickshire) or worldwide. Sessions are £130 per session.

Specialist therapy for birth trauma and pregnancy after loss
White flower outline

What Happens When You Get the Right Support

"For months, I couldn't look at my c-section scar without crying. I felt like my body had failed me. Working with Aleksandra helped me process my feelings of failure and find peace with my birth story. I can finally enjoy moments with my baby without the trauma hijacking everything."
— Anonymous Feedback, Birth Trauma Therapy Client

While every person's healing journey is different, most clients notice significant shifts within 6-8 sessions:
- Flashbacks decrease in frequency and intensity
- The hypervigilance eases
- They can talk about their birth without being pulled back into it
- They start to feel connected to their body and baby again
- The fear about future births (if relevant) becomes manageable
This isn't about "getting over it" or pretending it didn't happen.
It's about processing what happened so you can move forward - not stuck in survival mode, but actually living.

See If This Approach Is Right for You 
Q&A

Your Questions About Birth Trauma Therapy, Answered

  • Answer: This is the most common fear – and it makes complete sense. But here's the truth: avoidance keeps trauma alive. When you avoid thinking or talking about your birth, your brain never gets the chance to process it. So it stays "stuck" in your nervous system as an active threat.

    Trauma-focused therapy is different from just "talking about it." We work at YOUR pace, using proven techniques (Trauma-Focused CBT) to help your brain finally file the memory as "past" instead of "present danger." You won't be forced to relive every detail. And we build coping tools FIRST, so you feel safe enough to process what happened.

    Many women tell me: "I was terrified it would make things worse. Instead, it's the first time I've felt relief in months."

  • Answer: Absolutely. In fact, processing your trauma while you're pregnant can be one of the most powerful things you do – for yourself AND for this baby.

    Research shows that trauma-focused therapy is safe during pregnancy. And working through your previous birth before you go into labour again can significantly reduce fear and help you feel more prepared.

    We focus on:
    • Processing your previous traumatic birth so it's not running the show
    • Understanding what happened and why it felt so traumatic
    • Reducing shame and self-blame
    • Building confidence that this birth can be different

    Note: If you're also experiencing overwhelming fear about your upcoming labour (tokophobia), my Tokophobia Therapy page covers specialized support for managing that anxiety. Many women need both birth trauma processing AND tokophobia therapy.

  • Answer: Most women find 8-12 sessions is enough to process their birth trauma and feel significantly better. But everyone's timeline is different. I usually suggest starting with 4-6 sessions to see how things are going. After that, we review together and decide whether to continue. Sessions are weekly or fortnightly, depending on what works for you.

  • Answer: It's NEVER too late. I work with women who are:
    • Weeks postpartum
    • Months postpartum
    • Years after their traumatic birth
    • Pregnant again after traumatic birth years ago

    Trauma doesn't have an expiration date. If it's still affecting you now, it's worth addressing – whether your birth was 6 weeks ago or 6 years ago.

  • Answer: If you're asking this question, the answer is YES.

    You don't need a formal PTSD diagnosis for your experience to matter. You don't need to have had the "worst" birth. If you're struggling, if you can't stop thinking about it, if it's affecting your life – that's enough.

    Trauma isn't defined by what happened. It's defined by how YOU experienced it.

  • Answer: I understand cost is a real barrier. Sessions are £130, which I know isn't accessible for everyone. Here are some options:
    • NHS Talking Therapies: Free service, but waiting lists can be long. You can self-refer via your local service.
    • Birth Trauma Association: Offers peer support and resources – birthtraumaassociation.org.uk
    •Payment plans: If you're serious about starting but need flexibility, let's discuss options during your discovery call.

  • Answer: The discovery call is a no-pressure conversation where we:
    • Talk about what's been going on for you
    • Discuss whether birth trauma therapy is the right fit
    • Answer any questions you have about the process
    • See if we're a good match to work together

    You'll leave the call knowing exactly what's keeping you stuck and how therapy can help. No obligation to book – just clarity.

Haven’t found what you’re looking for?
I’m happy to assist further. Simply complete the contact form, and I’ll be in touch to answer any specific questions or discuss your individual needs.