Birth Trauma Therapy: When You Can't Stop Replaying the Moment You Thought You Were Going to Die
Specialist trauma-focused therapy for women processing traumatic births - whether your baby is 6 weeks old or 6 years old, and whether your birth was an emergency C-section, instrumental delivery, or anything that left you feeling violated, dismissed, or terrified.
EMDR and CBT therapy. Based in Leicestershire, available online across the UK and worldwide.
Does This Sound Like You?
𑁍 Can't you stop replaying the moment you thought you or your baby were going to die? 𑁍
𑁍 Do you look at your baby and see the trauma instead of just your baby? 𑁍
𑁍 Are you so angry at the medical staff who didn't listen that you can't let it go? 𑁍
𑁍 Can't you walk past the hospital without having a panic attack? 𑁍
𑁍 Do you freeze when people ask about your birth? 𑁍
𑁍 Are you still having nightmares about the birth months or even years later? 𑁍
𑁍 Does everyone expect you to have "moved on" but you're still stuck there? 𑁍
𑁍 Can't you tell your birth story without crying or feeling numb? 𑁍
𑁍 Do you feel guilty for not enjoying motherhood when you "should" be grateful your baby is healthy? 𑁍
If you answered YES to any of these, you're not alone.
This is birth trauma … and it's treatable.
Why You Need a Therapist Who Understands BOTH Trauma And Childbirth?
Hi, I am Aleksandra!
✿ I'm a specialist perinatal mental health therapist. I help women process traumatic births - whether your baby was born 6 weeks ago or 6 years ago.
✿ I've spent over a decade in NHS mental health services, supporting women through birth trauma and PTSD.
I'm trained in EMDR (completing certification May 2026) and Trauma-Focused CBT - evidence-based therapies specifically designed for processing trauma.
✿ I currently work in the NHS alongside my private practice, so I've seen how birth trauma happens. How medical staff dismiss concerns. How women are left traumatised and told to "be grateful baby is healthy."
Here's what I've learned:
✿ Your trauma is real. Even if your baby is physically healthy. Even if "other women had it worse." Even if people tell you to "move on."
✿ Whether your birth was an emergency C-section, instrumental delivery, severe tearing, haemorrhage, medical dismissal, or anything else that left you feeling violated, dismissed, or terrified - you don't need to justify why it was traumatic.
✿ If it was traumatic for YOU, it was traumatic.
✿ Your brain and body are stuck in that moment. The alarms. The pain. The powerlessness. The moment you thought you or your baby were going to die.
This is trauma. And trauma can be healed.
My approach focuses on three things:
✿ Understanding what you're experiencing now (the flashbacks, rage, avoidance, feeling stuck)
✿ Processing what happened during your birth (the trauma that your nervous system is still holding onto)
✿ Helping you move toward the future you want (feeling present with your baby, letting go of the rage, being the mum you want to be)
What Happened During Your Birth?
Birth trauma isn't about how your birth looked from the outside.
It's about how it felt to YOU.
Maybe you had an emergency C-section:
Everything was fine until it wasn't. Suddenly there were alarms and people running.
They said "baby's heart rate has dropped, we need to go NOW."
You were wheeled to theatre not knowing if your baby would be alive. No one explained what was happening. You genuinely thought you were both going to die.
Or you woke up and didn't know where your baby was. Whether they were okay.
Maybe you had an instrumental delivery:
You pushed for hours. They said "we need to use forceps" or "we need ventouse."
You could feel them pulling. It felt like they were going to hurt your baby. The pain was unbearable - worse than labour.
The doctor kept saying "one more contraction" but it went on forever.
Maybe you haemorrhaged:
There was so much blood. You knew something was very wrong.
You were fading. You could feel yourself leaving.
They were shouting codes. Running. You thought you were dying and your baby would grow up without a mother.
Maybe medical staff dismissed you:
You told the midwife you were in unbearable pain. She said "all women feel this, you're doing fine."
You said something was wrong. She checked and said baby was fine. Ten minutes later, baby's heart rate dropped.
The doctor was so dismissive. Like you were being dramatic. Like you were making it up.
You felt like you weren't believed.
Maybe you felt powerless:
They said "we need to do an episiotomy" and did it before you could answer.
You said no and they did it anyway.
You were told you were "refusing to cooperate" when you said you couldn't do it anymore.
The consultant said "if you don't push now your baby will die" - you felt like you had no choice.
It felt like assault. But it was medical staff, so you're supposed to be grateful.
Maybe your baby was in distress:
The monitor alarm went off and everyone ran in.
Baby's heart rate dropped and you could see panic in their eyes.
They said "baby is in distress" but didn't explain what that meant.
You genuinely thought your baby was dying.
Maybe your baby was taken to NICU:
Your baby was taken immediately. You didn't get to hold them.
You gave birth and your baby was gone. You didn't know if they'd be okay.
You wanted to bond but you were separated. You felt like you'd failed them already.
What made it traumatic wasn't just what happened - it was how you were treated:
No one explained what was happening. You were left in the dark.
Your pain wasn't taken seriously. You felt dismissed, dehumanised.
You had no control. Things were happening TO you.
Your brain learned: "I'm not safe. No one will listen if I say something's wrong. I nearly died.
My baby nearly died. I failed."
And now your nervous system is stuck trying to protect you from something that's already happened.
That's where trauma-focused therapy comes in.
What You Want and What is Possible
Therapy for birth trauma isn't about "getting over it" or "moving on.
It's about processing what happened so you're not stuck reliving it. So you can be present with your baby instead of trapped in that moment.
Right now:
✧ Replaying the worst moment on repeat
✧ Looking at your baby and seeing the trauma
✧ Rage at medical staff that won't go away
✧ Nightmares 3-4 times a week
✧ Avoiding hospitals, medical appointments, anything that reminds you
✧ Freezing when people ask about your birth
✧ Feeling guilty for not enjoying motherhood
✧ Everyone expects you to have moved on
What shifts with therapy:
𑁍 You stop replaying the worst moment constantly. You can think about the birth without being pulled back into it. The flashbacks decrease.
𑁍 You can look at your baby and just see your baby. The trauma stops blocking the bond. You can be present instead of stuck in your head.
𑁍 You can tell your birth story without re-living it. You can say "my birth was traumatic" without crying or dissociating.
𑁍 The rage at medical staff becomes manageable. You're not carrying it everywhere. You can let it go enough to move forward.
𑁍 You can walk past the hospital without panic. You can attend medical appointments without dissociating.
𑁍 You can hear other people's birth stories without being triggered. You can scroll social media without avoiding all birth content.
𑁍 You can sleep without nightmares. When you wake up, you're not back in that moment.
𑁍 You feel like a good mum. Not because the trauma is gone, but because you're not letting it define you. You're doing enough. You ARE enough.
𑁍 If you want another baby, you can consider it without immediate terror. You can believe the next birth can be different.
Most clients notice within 8-12 sessions:
✓ Flashbacks and intrusive thoughts decrease dramatically
✓ Can think about the birth without full-body panic
✓ Feel more connected to their baby
✓ Sleep improves (fewer nightmares)
✓ Can attend medical appointments without dissociating
✓ Feel present in their life instead of stuck in the past
How We Work Together
Birth Trauma Therapy focuses on
three things:
𑁍 Processing the traumatic birth (the trauma your nervous system is still holding onto)
𑁍 Managing the PTSD symptoms (flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, rage)
𑁍 Reclaiming your life and motherhood (being present, feeling like a good mum, moving forward)
What we work on:
Working with PTSD symptoms (CBT + EMDR)
We work on the flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, nightmares, triggers (hospitals, medical settings, birth stories).
CBT helps you manage the symptoms taking over your daily life. EMDR helps process the trauma driving those symptoms.
Processing traumatic birth with EMDR
EMDR helps your brain process the traumatic birth. The moment you thought you were going to die. The emergency. The pain that was dismissed. The powerlessness.
EMDR helps your nervous system understand: "That was then. This is now. I survived that. I'm safe now."
You won't need to describe every traumatic detail over and over. EMDR processes trauma without re-traumatising you.
I'm completing EMDR certification May 2026. Until then, I use Trauma-Focused CBT, which is also evidence-based.
Working with rage and feelings of powerlessness
The anger at medical staff who dismissed you is VALID. We don't just tell you to "let it go."
We work on understanding where the rage comes from, processing what happened, and deciding what you want to do with it. Some women want to make a complaint. Some want to process it enough to move forward. Both are valid.
Working with guilt and "I should have" thoughts
"I should have said something." "I should have advocated for myself." "I should have done it differently."
These thoughts are part of the trauma. We work on separating what actually happened from what you're blaming yourself for.
Practical details:
How long: 8-12 sessions
Format: 50 minutes, online (UK & EU), weekly or fortnightly
You don't need to wait. Whether your baby is 6 weeks old or 6 years old, therapy helps. Birth trauma doesn't have an expiry date.
Cost: £130 per session
I hold a few spaces each month for reduced-cost therapy (£85 per session) for those experiencing financial hardship. Please get in touch to enquire about availability.
You're always in control. We go at your pace.
Q&AYour Questions About Birth Trauma Therapy, Answered
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No. You won't describe the worst moments over and over.
EMDR and trauma-focused therapy process trauma without re-traumatising you. We work at your pace. You're in control of what we work on.
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No. Birth trauma doesn't have an expiry date.
Whether your baby is 6 weeks old or 6 years old, therapy helps. Some women come to therapy years after their birth and still find significant relief.
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Your baby being healthy doesn't erase what you went through.
You can love your baby AND be traumatised by their birth. These things can both be true.
Birth trauma is real even when baby is physically fine. You're not overreacting. You're not being ungrateful. You're traumatised.
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Yes. The anger is valid.
When medical staff dismissed your concerns, didn't listen, or made you feel powerless - that's a valid reason to be angry.
Therapy doesn't make you "get over it." It helps you process what happened and decide what you want to do with the anger so it's not consuming your life.
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Trauma therapy is designed not to make it worse.
We build your capacity to manage distress BEFORE we process the trauma. We go at your pace. If something feels too much, we stop.
We don't just open up the trauma and leave you there. We process it in a way that helps you heal.
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Yes. Therapy is safe while breastfeeding.
We can work around feeding schedules, and you can take breaks during sessions if needed.
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You're not a bad mum. You're a traumatised mum trying to heal.
Birth trauma doesn't make you a bad mother. Struggling doesn't make you a bad mother.
You're doing the best you can with a nervous system that's stuck in survival mode. That's not your fault.
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No. If you're struggling, it's not too soon.
Some women want to process the trauma immediately. Some wait months or years. Both are valid.
If you're having flashbacks, nightmares, or struggling to bond, therapy can help now.
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Yes. Birth trauma therapy works alongside medication, NHS perinatal support, PTSD treatment, or support from birth trauma charities (Birth Trauma Association, PANDAS UK).
I'll collaborate with anyone supporting you.
Haven’t found what you’re looking for?
I’m happy to assist further. Simply complete the contact form, and I’ll be in touch to answer any specific questions or discuss your individual needs.
let's get startedReady to Stop Being Stuck in That Moment?
You don't have to keep replaying the worst moment.
You don't have to keep looking at your baby and seeing the trauma.
You don't have to carry this alone.
I work with a limited number of clients (2-3 openings monthly) so each gets specialist attention.
Ready to process what happened so you can be present with your baby? Let's talk.
Free, no-pressure. We'll talk through what you're experiencing and I'll explain how I can help.