Birth Trauma Is More Than a Bad Memory - Here’s How It Actually Shows Up
Birth Trauma Is More Than a Bad Memory — Here’s How It Actually Shows Up
A deep dive into how birth trauma shows up emotionally and physically — and how therapy can help you feel like yourself again.
You may have walked out of the hospital with your baby in your arms, but with a body that doesn’t feel like yours, a mind that won’t settle, and a sense that something happened to you that no one else seems to see.
You might be told, "But your baby is healthy! That’s what matters." And part of you agrees — because of course, that matters. But another part of you keeps replaying moments that felt terrifying, confusing, or deeply wrong. And that part of you? It doesn’t feel okay.
That’s what birth trauma can be: not just a dramatic emergency, but an experience that felt out of control, unsupported, or unsafe. Even when no one else in the room would call it traumatic.
What Birth Trauma Actually Looks Like
Birth trauma doesn’t always leave physical scars. But it shows up in other ways:
You replay the birth in your head, especially certain moments that trigger panic or helplessness.
You avoid talking about the birth or change the subject when others bring it up.
You dread medical appointments or feel panicked by hospital smells or sounds.
You feel disconnected from your baby, unsure if it’s bonding or something deeper.
You’re anxious, hyper-alert, or on edge most of the day, even when things seem "fine."
You feel guilt or shame for being upset at all, especially when others think the birth was "normal."
For some women, birth trauma results in PTSD — a form of post-traumatic stress that affects how your brain processes safety, memory, and emotion. But even without a formal diagnosis, birth trauma is valid and treatable.
Why Birth Trauma Is So Often Missed
Many women don’t realise they’re struggling with birth trauma until weeks or months later. Here's why:
The "healthy baby" narrative can silence your pain. You feel pressure to be grateful.
Comparisons to more extreme stories make you doubt your right to struggle.
You were "high functioning" — you got on with things, cared for your baby, and never "looked" traumatised.
Professionals never asked. Or worse, they minimised what happened to you.
How Birth Trauma Therapy Helps
You don’t have to relive every moment to begin healing.
In therapy, we work gently with what your mind and body are holding on to — the fear, the freeze, the shame. We start by making sense of what happened, not just medically, but emotionally.
We help you:
Rebuild a sense of safety in your body
Process painful memories at a pace that doesn’t retraumatise you
Understand what’s happening in your nervous system so you can respond, not just react
Make peace with your story, even if it still feels complicated
We don’t rush toward "silver linings" or pressure you to move on. We create space to feel and name what happened — and only then, begin to shift it.
What Birth Trauma Therapy with Me Looks Like
I’m Aleksandra, an experienced CBT therapist with a specialist focus in perinatal mental health.
In our work together, you can expect:
A steady, non-judgmental space where nothing is too much or too messy
Evidence-based tools to help calm your body, manage flashbacks, and reduce anxiety
Gentle support to reconnect with your baby and yourself at your own pace
A focus on both healing and coping, so you feel less overwhelmed, more equipped
I blend Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) with compassion-based approaches and polyvagal-informed techniques. But more than that, I meet you where you are, and we move from there.
Is This Birth Trauma? You Don’t Have to Be Sure to Reach Out
Maybe your birth wasn’t an emergency, but it still left you shaken. Maybe you felt invisible in the room. Maybe you're only just realising something about that day still isn't sitting right.
You don’t need a diagnosis to deserve support.
You just need to feel like you want things to feel different.
Let’s Begin Together
You don’t have to carry this alone.
Book a free 15-minute call to explore whether birth trauma therapy might be right for you. You can share a little about what’s been going on, ask any questions you have, and get a feel for how I work.
It might be the first time someone says, "What happened to you matters.”
Hi, I’m Aleksandra
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